Getting kids to follow directions can sometimes feel like a battle. But what if there was a simple way to reduce resistance while still encouraging cooperation? The answer lies in offering choices—a powerful strategy that gives children a sense of control while still keeping them within desired boundaries.
Why Choices Work
Kids, like adults, want to feel in control of their environment. When they feel forced into something, their natural reaction may be to push back. By offering choices, you empower them while still guiding their behavior. Instead of saying, “Put on your shoes now,” try, “Do you want to wear your blue sneakers or your red ones?”
How to Use Choices Effectively
- Offer two acceptable options: Ensure that both choices lead to a desired outcome. Example: “Do you want to clean up the blocks first or the cars?”
- Keep it simple: Too many options can overwhelm young children. Stick to two or three choices.
- Be consistent: Use this strategy regularly to build cooperation over time.
- Use choices proactively: Instead of waiting for resistance, offer choices before a power struggle begins.
When to Avoid Choices
Choices work well for non-negotiable tasks, but they aren’t always appropriate. If safety is a concern (“Do you want to hold my hand or be carried in the parking lot?”), offering a choice maintains control while ensuring safety. However, when something is truly non-negotiable, like wearing a seatbelt, calmly state the rule rather than offering a choice.
Clinician’s Perspective: Kaylee Rodriguez: How do you utilize choice when working with children in the clinic?
Providing the opportunity for choices helps promote self-determination, encourages independence, and facilitates opportunities for decision making. I typically utilize choice when I am first getting to know a child as it allows the child to communicate their preference and gives me an opportunity to reinforce the choice they communicated to me. I also like to incorporate choices when working on tasks that are likely non-preferred to the child as it allows me to individualize the activity and gives the child an opportunity for their voice to be heard. Depending on the learner I typically incorporate choices verbally or through visual supports.
Final Thoughts
Offering choices is a small shift that can make a big difference in reducing power struggles and increasing compliance. It gives kids a sense of autonomy while still keeping them on track. The next time you anticipate resistance, try offering a choice—you might be surprised at how much smoother things go!
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